When Cosmo Award winning blogger and dear friend Lauren asked us if longline bras were comfortable, there was only one way we could answer. It just so happened that her birthday was right around the corner, so what better gift than Freya lingerie’s gorgeous Piper underwired longline bra with its vintage inspired passion fruit print; the matching briefs are rather cute too.
Read about Lauren’s longline experience and you may just see why the Huffington Post rank her the funniest woman on Twitter in the UK.
“Longline bras, then. I thought they were the reserve of skinny-minnies flaunting them under floaty sheer vintage-style blouses as they effortlessly glide out of the pages of fashion mags and glide off to the sepia-toned meadows of female folk-singer-enhanced adverts for Sunday supplements. I was - and I don't say this particularly often - wrong.
Not only am I wildly curvy in all of the right and some of the wrong places, but I also suffer from neck and shoulder pain. And so, with some trepidation, I tried a longline bra. Not phased by grappling with a whopping FIVE clasps to try and fasten, once I'd wriggled and jiggled my way in, the way the extra fabric sits half way down the ribcage was instantly flattering and comfortable.
In fact, I decided it was so flattering that I would take a saucy photo of myself in my lovely new undies in the mirror.
So there I posed, golden-age-of-Hollywood pout, my hair straightened then set in curlers, red lippy... the works. Hand on hip, stomach in, chest out, a couple of clicks, photo taken.
Oh. Hang on, though. I don't actually have anyone to send this (quite frankly, brilliant) photo to, and I'm not one for posting scantily-clad posey self-portraits on Instagram.
I brush any hints of self-pity aside, and put on a frock. I danced around in front of the mirror a little longer (I'm not completely vain - IT'S THE BRA. It makes things fit better. Like a corset. But without the restrictive breathing), and headed out to the pub.
I get to the pub. Over a game of giant Jenga (of course), my friend has noticed my boobs looking particularly spectacular. I tell her about the magic of my longline bra, and told her how I'd taken the saucy photo, then had a wobbly moment of self-pity realising there was no one I wanted to send it to.
Obviously she demanded to see it.
Obviously I handed her my phone so that she could take a look.
Obviously a guy peered across the table to see what she was looking at.
Obviously in a panicked attempt to save some modesty and retrieve my phone, I knocked over the 30-brick-high Jenga tower.
The tower crashes down as the whole pub turns to see what has happened, as the photo of me in my bra sits there, illuminated for all to see.
I'd have been completely mortified if I hadn't been so damn pleased with how I looked in the bra.”